If You Give a Three Year Old Some Gum...

MOMMY!!! 

My four-and-a-half-year-old son stood in front of where I sat on the sofa, panting, his eyes twinkling with the fact that he was going to get his little sister’s ass busted.    

“I have something to show you!” he proclaimed. “And you are not going to like it.”

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to his sister’s room.  He hopped up next to Lady A on the big-girl bed we gave her for her third birthday, barely two months ago.  Then he folded down her fuzzy lavender blanket.

“Look!” This was tattletale GOLD, people!

Shit! Shit! SHIT!!!!!

There was gum on not only her lavender polka-dotted Land of Nod sheets, but in a J-pattern over her velour fleece blanket.  GUM!!  It had been there for at least a couple of DAYS. 

I had spent hours dreaming about and shopping for and ordering just the right combination of purples and polka dots and softness and ruffles for my girl to feel like a princess. Now she had a bed fit for a flophouse.    

You disgusting kids!” I shouted. “GUM ON YOUR BED?!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?  LAST WEEK YOU GOT POOP ON MY NEW WHITE SHOWER CURTAIN AND NOW THIS? WHY DO I BOTHER? CAN’T WE HAVE ANYTHING NICE?  JUST ONE THING?

Somewhere a studio audience chanted, “NO! YOU! CAN”T!” 

Muttering curses, I stomped back to my laptop where I learned that the enemies of gum on fabric were these guys:

Ice

WD-40

Peanut Butter

Olive Oil

White Vinegar (warmed, if possible)

Baking Soda

A popsicle stick/tongue depressor/spoon (something with which to scrape off the gum)

I willed myself to calm down and not put both children on Craigslist.  Surely all was not lost.  When I was in college a little girl I was babysitting got gum in her hair.  Ice did the trick, so I tried that first.

I got some cubes and pressed them to the sheet.  The gum hardened quickly and I scraped it off, effortlessly.  Done.

Now for the blanket.  It was a deep velour and the gum was ground in like dog crap in sneaker treads.  I held ice on it and waited. 

Nothing. If she were older I’d make her work to earn a new one.  But she was three.  For all she knew, money grew in the toilet tank.

“Hold the ice on that gum so it gets hard and we can pull it off.  HOLD IT!” If these kids thought they were going to destroy yet something else in our home and run off to play, they needed some serious correcting.  “And don’t be sucking on that ice!” 

They rubbed the blanket with ice for a few minutes.  I did a test. I pulled off less than a millimeter of gum, as well as some of the plush material.

The next suggestion was to deep freeze the item, either by putting the blanket in the freezer, which was not happening, or to put a big baggie full of ice on the spot and wait. 

I put a big ol’ plastic bag of ice on the gum pattern, put the blanket on our bed, and went about my business. 

A little later I returned and did another check.  Off came another millimeter of gum, and more velour.  At this rate the blanket would look like it was attacked by a wolf pack and dragged through the street. I considered throwing the thing in the trash, but I wasn’t sure if Target had any more, and with my luck my kids would figure out how to bust a bottle of red all over the new blanket three days later. 

Time for the big guns.

Peanut butter. 

It helped a little – I was able to scrape more off.

Then I went for it.  Warm white vinegar with a little baking soda.  I doused it as if I had gasoline and was going to send that blanket up to glory in a bonfire of life.  Yesssss! The gum became softer and easier to scrape off. 

Finally I reached the point where I’d done all I could do.  Game over.  That side of the blanket would always have to be the underside. 

Not too bad right? 

Not pretty, but could be
a whole lot worse...

Wish I could say the same thing for my nerves!

What's the worst thing your kid(s) ruined?